turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

216,987 notes

viluuuk:

seriously rolling on the floor laughing

(Source: giveme-lovesaf)

112,595 notes

pizza:

demoncest:

i really hate this ‘ur other half is out there somewhere u just gotta meet them’ like fuck off im not incomplete im a whole person and i dont need anyone to ‘complete me’ the only thing i need is a pizza and not ur shit bye

yeah thats right, all you need is me

320,439 notes